Children and Youths

In addition to the other needs of your children which you cater for on a day to day basis, it is the responsibility of a Christian parent to raise his/her child in the way of the Lord. Our children are God's children given into our care so we can raise them to be what He wants them to be. God expects us to raise godly children (Malachi 2:15)

There are many modern/secular books that teach us how to raise our children. There are also a lot of professors, psychologists, philosophers, shrinks, religious/secular children experts, and doctors etc who have a lot to say about raising children – often with conflicting views. As Christians however, our primary and main duty is to raise our children in accordance with biblical standards. Raising our children is not the responsibility of the government, schools friends or extended family. Churches, faith schools, bible study groups, church youth clubs can however build on the foundation we have already created in the home.



Christian parents are in direct authority of God and His word when it comes to raising godly children and as such it is our responsibility to train them to serve God so they can have eternal life.

Key Elements

1. Nemodat Quod Non Habet (Latin) – meaning you cannot give what you don't have.
   • Since you cannot give what you don't have, it is essential that you first become a born again Christian; before you are able to lead your children to Christ/Salvation.
   • We can only pass what we know to our children (Deuteronomy 4: 9-10)
   • Believers children do not automatically become born again Christians nor are they presumed born again Christians by the virtue of their parents being Christians
   • This means Christian parents have the moral responsibility to teach, coach, nurture, compel, advise, help, guide and lead their children to Christ as the children mature in age and begin to understand what is required of them as children from Christian homes.
   • Biblical child training starts with covenant faithfulness on the part of the parents, without this, it becomes almost an impossible task.
   
   
   
2. Responsibilities of Christian Parents
   • Our goal should be as declared in Joshua 24:15 – which states "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord"
   • The bible commands you to train your child in the way he should go, when he grows, he will not depart from it (Proverb 22:6)
   • Bring your children up in the training and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4)
   • Command your children to keep the way of the Lord, His righteousness and justice like Abraham (Genesis 18:19)
   • Charity begins from home so creating a 'Christian teaching' atmosphere at home cannot be over emphasised
   • Help your children know God's will concerning their lives
   • Christian parents must restrain sinful behaviour in their children so that they will trust Jesus Christ and develop a life-long relationship with him
   • Parents must set and enforce righteous standards for their children
   • Parents choices may determine their future and the future of their children
   
   
   
3. How, When, Where, Who?
   • Have a set of simple goals – try hard, be diligent, persevere and stay focused. It's not an easy task but it's achievable.
   • Introduce your children to church life at an early age – letting them understand why they need to go to church. Involve them in all church activities as appropriate and encourage them to take part in church life – including baptism/dedication, holy communion, confirmation, youth club, youth worship team, choir, church drama team etc.
   • From childhood Timothy had been taught the scriptures because they could make him wise to salvation (Ephesians 6:4)
   • Daily or weekly house fellowship is useful, letting the whole family take turns in praying - include the children in the choice of songs, bible reading, discuss scriptures read and test their understanding of it
   • Fathers are primarily responsibility for bringing up their children in the way of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4, Genesis 18:19, Genesis 8:20-22)
   • The father shall teach God's truth to his children (Isaiah 38:19)
   • Mothers too have an important role to play. We learn in the bible that Timothy's genuine faith was first possessed by his mother and grandmother. They told Timothy what to believe and showed him (2 Timothy 1:5)
   • Do not withhold correction from your child – including discipline where necessary (Proverbs 23:13-14)
   • Inform, Talk, explain and discuss biblical teachings and principles to your children; also answer their questions. The bible states that - faith comes by hearing and hearing the good news about Christ (Romans 10:17)
   • Repeat yourself. My children find this annoying but I say it's for emphasis. Repeat/talk continually of God's command – write them where they will see it (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)
   • Children learn by imitation, so we must live by biblical principles – actions speak louder than words.
   • Help them develop the habit of practising biblical standard – praying, reading the bible, praise worship, obedience to the word of God. Help them to meditate on God's word day and night (Joshua 1:8)
   • Take every opportunity available to share the word of God with your children. Time, place, situation or environment should not deter you from having a quick "Christian Time" with your children. It's amazing how much biblical principles (analogy) you learn (draw) from going to the cinema to watch a film with your children!
   • Leave an avenue for open communication including the ability for your children to approach you with any biblical questions or query. The older they get, the more difficult some of the questions will become. It's your children against secular world's teaching including what they can and cannot do; what rights and privileges they have when they reach a certain age, their human rights etc. But be open with them and support your answers with bible scriptures.
   • All questions asked must promote an opportunity to teach.
   • It's good to always ask about what they've been taught at Sunday school. You can check their understanding of this. Explore situations which promote discussions about moral and biblical teachings.
   • Chastise your child when there is hope... (Proverbs 19:18)
   • He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciples him promptly (Proverbs 13:24)
   
   
   
4. Providing For Your Children Physical Needs
   • Our responsibility includes providing for our children's physical needs (2 Corinthians 12:14)
   • Love your children and care for them, show them affection, spend time with them and give them attention. Attributes of Christian love are seen in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
   • A man who does not provide for his household is worse than an infidel (1 Timothy 5:8)
   • We should provide them with good education, help prepare them for life
   • You should create a whole child but we must not spend too much time in the pursuit of physical and material gains thereby neglecting the spiritual needs of your children
   • We must not be too concerned with earthly, material, social and physical pursuits (Luke 12:15, Matthew 16:26). Pursuit of material gains and fame is now very common in these days of reality TV shows – this should not be your children's goal.
   • Be interested in your children's interest and guide them to make the right decision
   
   
   
5. Failure to Train Your Children in Accordance with Biblical Standards
   • God will no doubt hold you accountable for failure to restrain your children from sinful behaviour and for failure to bring up your children in accordance with biblical standards
   • There is nothing but sadness and sorrow for a father whose son does foolish things (Proverbs 17:21)
   • God rebuked Eli for his children's atrocities – Eli was rejected for his children's sins because he failed as a parent. His children made themselves vile and he did not restrain them(1 Samuel 3:12-14)
   • King David failed to deal with his wicked sons - Amnon's evil ways and Absalom's determination for revenge.
   • God will bring every work into judgment and this includes our work as parents (Ecclesiastes 12:14)
   • Children often imitate their parents sins - Abijam walked in the sins of his father (1 Kings 15:3).
   
   
   
6. Benefits of Training Your Children in Accordance with Biblical Standards
   • Discipline your child and he will give you peace (Proverbs 29:17)
   • Discipline your child and you can be proud of him – he will never give you reason to be ashamed (Proverbs 29:17)
   • God approved of Abraham because he commanded his children to keep the way of the Lord. (Genesis 18:19)
   • If a Christian parent wants blessings from God for his/her children and grand children, spiritual training of their children cannot be overemphasised. Your children will be saved, will serve the Lord and have eternal life
   
   
   
7. Responsibilities of Children Born into Christian Homes
   • Obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord (Colossians 3: 20)
   • "Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you (Exodus 20:12)
   • Children, it is your duty to obey your parents for this is the right thing to do. (Ephesians 6:1)
   • Son (and daughter) – hear the instructions of your father and do not forsake the law of your mothers (Proverb 1:8, 1 Thessalonians 2:11)
   • A wise son makes his father (mother) proud of him, a foolish child brings his mother (father) grief (Proverbs 10:1)
   • The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck (Proverbs 1:7-9)
   
   
   
8. Conclusion
   • To remain neutral about the salvation of your children is to hand over your children over to the prince of darkness by default (Matthew 12:30)
   • Both parents will influence the children so it is imperative that both parents do their bit in raising their children in a godly way. (Nehemiah 13: 23 – 24).
   • It is not uncommon in some homes to have only one believing parent. The task therefore falls on the believing parent to do the work. It is important to note that if care is not taken, the unbelieving parent's nonchalant attitude and sometimes bad behaviour (as the case may be) may end up being emulated by the child. This is why there is emphasis on a Christian marrying a Christian.
   • God in the covenant of grace deals not only with the individuals but the whole family as covenantal persons (Genesis 17: 1-14, 18:19). Christian family continuity is a covenant we must pass on to future generations. It is crucial therefore to raise godly children to keep this covenant alive
   • Your children's life must mirror and witness biblical principles that they have learnt
   • If you were your children's mirror, what would they see?

Love the LORD Your God

"These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you.

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates". (Deuteronomy 6: 1-9)

By Adeola Sonola

"The Commissioner"